Bonus Stage #2: Things I Hate About the Internet

The bonus stage in Mortal Kombat, in which you competed with an opponent to see how many planks of wood you could break. This proved that the tournament competitors could serve a productive purpose - when they're not extracting various body parts with their bare hands for fun.

There are so many things to love about the net. But this post isn't going to be about that. It's finally time to get some things off my chest. These are the things about the internet that have continually pissed me off, and so now I feel like I have to vent about it. And you're fortunate it enough to get to read about it.

Please type the letters and numbers above to verify your account.

This is total and utter BS, and I'm freakin' sick of it. When you enter your name and password to log into a website, but you have to enter in distorted letters and/or numbers to verify. What a complete waste of my time. I'll hit the reload button several times before something comes up that's halfway legible. The letters, numbers, words or phrases are so bent out of shape, twisted, or unfocused as to make it almost impossible to get on the first try.

I understand this is to keep out bots, hackers and the like, but do I have to be bothered with this? I say come up with a better way or make the verification images clearer. I'm sick of unintentional mini-games like this.

"I understand you only want to check what the weather is going to be for this week, but we just need you to complete a five minute registration process."

I'm sick and damn tired of needing to register an account with every other website I come across to get some simple information, or even make a forum post. If I'm going to manage my finances online, require an account, if I'm going to buy something with my credit card, require an account. Fine, those are understandable. But sometimes I think it goes too far. I think some webmasters like to do this because it's a power trip. To have that information, to give or take away someone's access at a whim, or to just to prove to themselves they know how to do it. Give me a break. Am I so interesting that everyone wants to know who I am? What am I missing about myself that is so compelling?

My virus scanner found 1,356 problems! We'll fix them for you - for a price.

I hate the many applications available out there that claim they'll do something for free. We'll fix your computer's registry for free! We'll boost your PC's ram for free! We'll find viruses and malware for free! Or they'll invite you to download their application without any mention as to whether or not it will cost anything at all. Maybe its naive on my part, but a company should up front and honest about their software.

You download something, all the while thinking its freeware. When you finally take the time and trouble to get it running, you see a register button, or a subscription offer, or some such nonsense. Playing with a person's emotions, making them think you're gonna solve their computer problems, and not doing it until the user forks over 39.99, is just low. GTFO.

Dishonorable Mentions

1. Pop-ups

2. Spam

3. Spam in a foreign language

4. Commercials. I hate commercials. If I had my way I would ban all commercials, everywhere, period. Except maybe print advertisements. I understand that companies have to advertise, but when it gets to the point that it invades every facet of a person's life, enough is enough. If you're product is truly good, or necessary, you don't need to advertise, people will know about and buy it. If someone wants a service or product, they'll do the work to find it. If I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.