3 Healthcare Solutions From a Gamer's Perspective

The debate is raging on as to whether we should reform the health care system in this country. Not to get too political, but the fact that this is even an issue is astonishing. It's like saying, "No, let's not catch up to every other industrialized country on Earth when it comes to health." After all, we like having one of the world's worst infant mortality rates, right?

Insightful political commentary aside, I think I might have the solution to this problem. It isn't a product of my own genius (very little, if anything, is.) If you look hard enough, you'll see that video game worlds have some of the most efficient and effective health plans there are. So I offer you this short list of possible options we can consider, while we're prolonging a needless debate so more sickly people can die. (But hey, that's what phoenix downs are for.)

1. Medicinal Food

The classic health plan in many of the older video games, is to consume food. Video games have shown that eating a piece of food will instantly reverse any injury or ailment. There are many advantages to this particular system. One, is that the food often costs nothing. All you have to do is find it. If you're not bothered about eating strange food that you find in barrels, crates or suspiciously lying on the ground, this is a good plan for you. Another is that it's instant, tastes good and is pre-prepared.

Unfortunately, the food can be hard to find. Worse, it can't cure death. Lastly, it is not a preventative measure. But when you're in a jam, sometimes the best thing is to take that pizza slice off the cold, hard ground and dig in. You'll thank yourself later, I promise!

Pizza, just what the doctor ordered.

2. Free Hospitals

Paperwork, hospital bills, and insurance policies are just some of the things that make dealing with health so difficult. But not in videogames! Take for instance, Pokemon. When your pokemon are injured or knocked unconscious, all you have to do is take them to a hospital in one of the game's many small towns. The nurse will restore your pokemon, free and instantly, no questions asked. If we were to emulate this system, it would bring about a new age of affordable, instant and functional care.

All we'll have to do is figure out how to convert ourselves into pure energy, store ourselves in small spherical devices, be placed on a technologically sophisted platform that cures all physical and mental ailments instantaneously. The benefits of this solution are many and obvious. The only downside is that it may be hundreds of years before this technology is realized. But hey, people are living a lot longer these days.

It's a good thing these facilities will be free of charge. The R&D costs will probably lead to bankruptcy anyway.

3. Gold Rings

One of the rarest, but most effective health care solutions in video game history. It's simple, preventative and even lucrative. The only issue is that it could be considered illegal. This is where you steal as many golden rings as you can. The more rings you steal, the more invulnerable you are. While in possession of the rings, you're almost entirely immune to any sickness or physical injury. When you are injured, you only need to recover the rings that you lose from being hit.

You should know that holding gold rings is not perfect. The more rings you take, the more people will want to come after you to take back what was theirs. The rings don't prevent drowning or fatal falls. You should also know that once you subscribe to this plan, there's no going back. If you're ever without at least one ring, instant death is almost sure to follow.

Gold rings are incredibly easy to find, they'll even float in mid-air. But those flying robotic turtles won't give them up without a fight.

Whatever plan you choose, I wish you luck. Your chances with them are almost certaintly better than what we'll probably end up with in the real world. You could wait to see what that is, but the instant healing beds of the Pokemon hospitals will probably take less time to come about.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to steal some jewelry, eat some food off the ground and de-materialize myself so I can be stored in an energy ball. Strangely enough, most people will probably end up doing the first two things in order to survive sometime soon. Unless, we actually manage to solve the health care problem.